Transformers the Ride: 3D (Beware the Bay-Formers)

The new Transformers ride at Universal Studios Florida is great if you’re a fan of the Michael Bay movies (and just alright if you’re not.)

I’ll be honest with you: I’m not a huge fan of the Michael Bay Transformers movies. I’m kind of a Transformers purist, so redesigned robots, a tough Bumblebee, and the inexplicable inclusion of Wheelie (not to mention Megan Fox) sort of threw the whole franchise for me. Still, when I heard Universal was opening a Transformers ride, I freaked. I tried to keep my expectations low, and in that respect was mostly not disappointed, but I’ve got to say, the theming of the ride is a little sketchy. Here’s what happens:

Under the giant randomly-pointing Optimus, you wait in a line where you’re told you’ll be hanging out with the Autobots in “The Hive,” which basically sounds like taking a field trip to a military base. You’re then brought into said “Hive” where you’re briefed on a few Decepticons (Scorponok gets special attention) and paraded around the All-Spark.

Then, as has a tendency to happen on theme-park rides, something goes “terribly wrong.” Lights flash (with cool buttons you can press and switches you can flip) and Optimus Prime appears on a screen, telling you he needs your help to protect the All-Spark from Megatron and the other Decepticons. A new Autobot, Evac, just happens to be ready for you to ride along and do nothing to aide the mission! Also, you need 3D glasses for some reason. Do not question Optimus Prime!

During the ride, you encounter Scorponok, a whole lot of Devastator, Starscream (all too briefly), and of course, Megatron. The graphics and special effects are fantastic, but if you’ve ever ridden the Spider-man 3D ride at Universal, the ride is essentially the same. And although we’re very much still in the Bay-former universe (SPOILER: Bumblebee breaks someone’s neck, which is pretty graphic for a family-friendly ride), the experience isn’t without old-school fan service. Optimus tells you to “Roll out” (a pretty cool geek-out moment) and if you look carefully at the end, there’s a yellow VW bug (original Bumblebee) stuck in the wall.

All in all, Transformers: The Ride 3D was fun, but could have been so much more.